I walked into my first yoga class in 2016. I knew the yoga teacher, I never would have darkened the door of a yoga class otherwise. I had very poor body image and my self worth was entirely consumed in "being enough" through my body. I was completely consumed with striving for thinness in the hope that some day, I might just be good enough.
I had been dieting at this point for 10 years and I wanted to see how yoga could help me loose weight and shape my body. The usual diet culture state of mind.
Oh how little I knew!
The welcoming environment of the class I attended brought out a softness in me that I had tucked away many years ago. I started to notice my own thoughts and how my own thoughts were very far removed from the diet culture thoughts that consumed me. This began a tiny flickering light, an ember in the darkness. I began to see that I had thoughts of my own and I also had diet culture thoughts. I was intrigued at this noticing.
Then came the noticing of sensations in my body - this was huge for me. I was a non-stop, work as much as I can, do do do, go go go type of person. I never slowed down enough to notice the physical sensations of my body.
My weekly yoga class became this place of exploration and fun. To get to know me. The actual me. Not the conditioned me.
My weekly yoga class became a committment to myself that I honured and loved to keep. It was my sacred space.
The more I showed up for myself, the more my true self began to shine. My inner voice moved from a whisper to a confident speaker.
The diet culture rules and thoughts moved farther and farther away from me. Their loudness got softer. Their space in my brain diminished. For the first time in a decade I felt free. I felt light, love, joy.
I also grieved. The time I wasted,the money, the opporunities. At times I was angry, frustrated and lonely.
I continued my yoga practice after I had broke through diet cuture and was out the other side. My wonderful teacher at the time, also called Laura, planted seeds with me about becoming a yoga teacher myself. I nurtured those thoughts for a few years.
I attended a yoga retreat weekend with Sinéad and Gillian from Intuitive Eating Ireland in April of 2022 and on that retreat I decided to take the leap and find the right training for me.
I began training in embodied hatha yoga and meditation in September 2022 with Aruna Yoga Academy under the guidance of Laura Wynne and Mary Farrelly. I successfully completed my studies in June 2023. I am immensly proud of the work I have done over the last number of years to bring me to the point I am at now.
Starting a yoga practice brought my to my soul self and I am honoured to share this practice with you.
Laura